Parents! Please do not force your little children to attend funerals!!

By: Dr. Jacquelyn Simmons

My dear friends,

It is with great concern this servant of God admonishes you not to force your young children to attend funerals. To do so might cause great inward damages which may never be repaired. Do the best you can to explain the death of “Grandma Janie or Uncle Sylvester” who previously paid a lot of attention to them and will be sorely missed. However, if you are requiring your children’s attendance at their funerals, be sure and previously sit them down, turn off phones and explain their deaths to them as best you can. It would be wise also, for you to take the time to research ways of explaining death to children. There are plenty of suggestions to be found.

Sometimes, visiting relatives, friends, and others mistakenly do many things to comfort adult mourners, but expect children to play the role of “being seen and not heard”. Many times, they are told “ to go in the room and watch TV, go outside and play, or most of all, play with your cell phones or tablet. You may borrow mine, if necessary. In other words, “go away, can’t you see I am upset and grieving?”

Children are often mistakenly told also, “God took granny and because he wanted her in his heavenly flower garden”. Well, my friends, this might result in the children developing an intense dislike for flowers and a fear of God.

Beware of this, also. Sometimes, children grieve over the loss of pets as much or more than the loss of adults because in many instances they are closer to their pets than to adults. Take time to explain their loss to them. Help them through their grieving process.

After you have explained beforehand what to expect at your loved ones funerals, let the children make the decision as to whether they wish to attend.
Please! Please!! Please!!! Don’t force them to kiss, touch, or try and make farewells and normal conversations with the deceased. This act may remain in your childrens’ memory banks as long as their tenure here on earth.

During my growing up years, it was always understood that we would attend funerals. In fact, our opinions were not sought.

Many times, the absence of the deceased provided more space in the home, especially for sleeping quarters which may result in the children occupying the bed or room of the deceased which could be frightening. They may think sleeping there may cause their death, also.

Several occurrences happened to me during my growing up years which programmed me for fear of the dead which have not been erased. My being almost 88 years of age, has not conquered those fears. People who know my fears, usually repeat this old adage to me: “Dead people cannot hurt you but fear of them can make you hurt yourself. However, if fear is really present, it should be due to fear of those persons who are alive and not dead”.

By the way, my friends, this writer feels that the holy spirit wants you to become enlightened as a result of having read Isaiah 3:1-5. Pray and ask him for his interpretation.

Love you much,
Jacquelyn Simmons

P.S. My friends, did you know that whoever mistreats or treats kindly God’s people, they are persecuting or treating kindly, his son, Jesus Christ? He feels it just as we do (Matthew 25: 35-40).